January 2, 2010

I am constantly stuck in this place,
in between my future and my past
and I'm not sure which one I want more.
Most of the time,
part of me just wants to throw myself into the future
and the other part wants me to hurl myself into my past

no wait, what i rly need /want now is to hve my memory erased. forget those unhappy thoughts, forget everything that happened, forget everyone and start life anew. maybe thats why bb left fo 3 weeks, she needed to get her thoughts sorted out. maybe i shld leave fo a month… but i knw thats nt gna change hw things are. once’s its happened, there’s no escape. now remind me agn why i chose this path that painfully throws me into the deepest pit of misery and sadness.

and now i know, ever since years ago i gt my heart broken, i was never gna be truly happy again. im sorry to everyone i’ve hurt, you shld knw that you’ll be the last person i wnt upset cos of me.

sigh.

so much for "Happy New Year"