September 25, 2013

THOUGHTS DIARY

Recently I've did some serious thinking/reflecting on my life and honestly if I compared it to 2-3 years back, I can say that I have changed so much. Be it physically or mentally, it feels like I've grown into a whole different person as compared to the old me. I mean I won't deny some of my bad habits are still lingering stubbornly within me, but I'm trying my best to work on that as well. Apart from that, when I think back about the person I was before, I kinda shudder at the thought because I can barely recognize myself then. Haha I think it applies to some of us too yea?
(above: the 2009 me........... on the day I graduated from Secondary school)
(below: also in 2009, emowarrior_92@gmail.com)
Nevertheless, I got to admit the past few years of my life was tough. Not physically but mentally.
The emotional roller-coaster I was on was traveling at it's upmost speed, from the highest to the lowest
point I have ever felt ever in 21 years of my life. The struggle I had to deal with was so challenging that I found myself falling into the deepest pits of my nightmare. I don't usually broadcast how I feel in public nor to everyone I know, I think only the closest people around me have seen me at my worst.

I honestly thank god for sending me these 2 angels/pillars of unlimited strength/sisters because no one have stuck by me the most during that period of time. I will never ever forget how much they've helped me all these years. 
Also, I'm sorry for posting this uggs pic of us in 2010 bbs, hahah those were the good ol'days!

(above: missing my long hair...... 2011)
(below: chopped off my hair cos I wasn't thinking right ....DUH lol, 2012)
I cannot be glad that all that sad shit of my life is over, I never ever would want to step or look back into that chapter of my life. ever. again.

However I also came to realize that without these experiences, I would never have learnt or grown from them and become the person that I am today. I'll admit tho, I was an emotional wreck till sometime mid last year when I've learnt to take control of my emotions, and to ALWAYS look at the better side of things. The rate I was taking back the control I had of my life and emotions then was escalating and I realized that everything in my life was getting better.
This new mindset that I have decided to live by has changed my life in a whole new perspective.
-
2013 is a year of tremendous change for me. I realized there were many things I have to take charge by myself and start learning to be an adult. I also turn 21 this year which means I have to start knowing when to balance work and play. I can honestly say I still suck at that, I know I'm not as responsible as I should be, which is something I have to constantly remind myself and work on. I've also learnt to deal with importance, focus on what's most important before you focus on other things.
(earlier this year, at a shoot for new balance SG)
Towards mid 2013, my life starting slowing down..
I have a bad habit of procrastinating, which leads to not completing what I have scheduled to do on time and also giving into distractions. Additionally, I'm disappointed at myself for neglecting this space. Looking back I've seen how much I used to update in the past, I would document almost EVERYTHING I do here. I've also neglected spending time with some of my friends and family.. and Bijou :( Come to think of it I have no idea what I've been closing off myself too. I've just been so cooped up in my own world doing.. nothing.
I have wasted a lot of my time, time which I can never retrieve again :( 
Time to buckle up and start working on making things right again.
-
In the blink of an eye, 2013 is coming to an end. Honestly it felt like 2012 was only a few months away. I told myself that I would give me the remaining 3 months to make a change, an improvement in my life. I'm gonna learn to put what matters, first. Prioritize my life. I will try to reinforce the mindset which I had last year to start. I really want to look back at this year and tell myself, 
"there, look at what you've accomplished"
It doesn't have to be a huge one, it just has to be something I myself know I have done well.
I have been making plans to revamp this space and my studio, hopefully in time before the festive season! am putting very serious thoughts into this and I want to start making improvements in every aspect of my life; as a person, a blogger, a photographer.
***
I know today's post is rather random. Haha but I just had too many thoughts that I thought I'd pen them out here. I haven't touched on a post this personal before tho.. hehe super not me. 
But anyhoos, anyone out there who feels me... let's just try to make the rest of the year a good one!!!
Be it whether you're going through a good or bad phase of your life now,
remember to always look on the brighter side of life and work towards positivity. I know sometimes it won't be easy, but you'll never know if you don't try. Start with baby steps, and you'll be surprise how many baby steps can lead up to a big difference.
Stop dwelling on thoughts that make you feel bad, sad, miserable or whatsoever, and start channeling them to new and positive ideas to make life better! 
Remember, focus on what's good for you and ditch the bad :)

Not sure how many of you guys will find this post helpful but I've shared what I can and hopefully we can all start and end this year with a bang! 3 more months guys, let's do this!!! 
Love you all, Have a wonderful Wednesday xxx