December 26, 2013

RIP, GRANDPA

Merry Christmas yall!
I know that I'm a day late here but... since it's technically the 25th in the States, I shall follow their date as well so I guess I'm just in time :) 
-
I hope you all had a wonderful time celebrating this season of joy with you fellow loved ones, Christmas is definitely my favorite season/holiday since I was young and I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of happiness when Christmas was here. 
However, for the year of 2013- I just didn't have that same excitement as I used to get every other year, I would be writing out Christmas lists, planning a party, saving up etc.. This year was just really mundane, like the festive spirit in me was no longer there. I feel that this was a sign, a sign that I should prepare myself for what was going to happen next.

On the 21st of December, I received a tragic news, something that I never imagined I would hear,
that my Grandpa had left us to be at a better place with God. Upon hearing the news I was dumbfounded for awhile, before all the memories of him came flooding through my mind and before I knew it I was sobbing. I was filled with guilt and regret, I didn't make time to see my grandpa one last time before he left, I didn't spend time with him when he was around, I didn't shower him with the love and attention a person should receive, I didn't make an effort to see him more than once a year.. 
I didn't this, I didn't that...
There wasn't any use regretting, I know that I'm never going to make up for the time I've lost,
all I can do is be there with him everyday of the wake and do what I can to usher him to a better afterlife. So throughout my Christmas this year, I spent it with my Grandpa at his wake and did a whole lot of thinking and reflecting which made me realize so much about life.

We should treasure what we have now, and make the most out of everything. Do what we want to, Achieve what we dream of achieving, Love with all our heart and leave no room for regrets.
Time does not stop for anyone, and we shouldn't waste time getting angry and hating, once the moment have passed, it is gone forever. And what we lose, is what we will live with for the rest of our lives. 
As cliche as it may sound, these were the words that I'll read and shrug off as just a 'Life Phrase' but never did I expect it to make so much sense now after these events have passed.
I've learnt so much that words can't describe the amount of mixed emotion I feel everyday, it's mentally draining and exhausting. I will always remember this and carry these words with me through my life, and constantly remind myself of the importance of my love ones and time. 

Tomorrow is the 7th day of passing and also another day of prayers for my Grandpa, 
everyday I'd pray and wish that he'll walk happy with God and that he's no longer chained to the sufferings of this world. I will always remember him and that he will live in me, in our family and that he'll be greatly missed.
x

I apologize for the long string of words and lack of visuals, I haven't been out much lately so there isn't much for me to blog about. Nevertheless I will be back on track with blogging after today so do remember to check back for updates :)
as for everyone else, I hope you guys will enjoy the rest of the festive season and have an awesome week ahead x